Pension scaremongering

Seriously, Pensions. Who needs one & why?

In this post I attempt to answer none of your pension questions. Infact its nothing more than a rant about the evils of pension plans. Thankyou in advance for listening.

“WHEN Otto von Bismarck* introduced the first pension for workers over 70 in 1889, the life expectancy of a Prussian was 45. (lol) In 1908, when Lloyd George bullied through a payment of five shillings a week for poor men who had reached 70, Britons, especially poor ones, were lucky to survive much past 50. (again, lol) By 1935, when America set up its Social Security system, the official pension age was 65—three years beyond the lifespan of the typical American. (wat) State-sponsored retirement was designed to be a brief sunset to life, for a few hardy souls.”

Read more: http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?STORY_ID=13900145

You can’t really knock these early attempts at State pension provision but it is funny that most people would be dead before they qualified.

100+ years later things are a little better. Most people would expect to live long enough to pick up a State pension I suppose. Things are about to change though. Not enough money for us all to have a state pension anymore.

Doesn’t matter, Government has it covered. They’re about to introduce something called NEST. I’m sure you’ve heard. Compulsory pension contributions with an opt out button on it. Whatever. Not interesting enough to link here.

I’ve always been pretty skeptical about pensions. When I was in school the career advisor told me that by the time I was approaching pensionable age it would most likely have risen to 70 & that it was unlikely there’d be enough money left in the pot for me to get paid a state pension. Fair enough, I don’t care. Im 16.

He also said I should be putting about £80 a week away if I wanted a decent standard of living when I retire.

LOLWAT

I can’t afford that now let alone when Im 16 years old.

There have been some pretty high profile pension collapses down the years. Would-be pensioners on those schemes have lost everything they dreamt about their entire working lives. Some other schemes have simply been plundered by the low life scum that ran them.

Now we find ourselves harassed constantly by our Governments to save for our old age.

Well, Ive done some research (not much admittedly).

Life expectancy in the UK if you were born in 1971 (which i was) is 72.27 years.

(source: http://datafinder.worldbank.org/)

So If I manage to dodge all future pension plan collapses & shady scammers ripping schemes off  I will have kept myself just above the breadline my entire adult life  for 2 & a bit years worth of retirement. Hardly worth the bother?

Well, there’s always arguments for & against isn’t there? But it looks to me like pension funds are a gift of money to the banks & fraudsters of this world which they line their pockets with whilst you toil & then they give you back nothing like its actual worth just before you die.

Yeah, include me out thanks.

Although, I could go with that I suppose on the off chance I make it to say, 80.

I mean, Its not a given that I’ll be too infirm to look after myself or that I’ll be stuffed into an overcrowded care home that eats my money whilst neglecting me to within an inch of my miserable life.

Naaaah.

More fun would be to blatt all my money having fun with my kids now whilst Im still fit enough to play with them & take them places. When they’ve left home I can drink & smoke myself to death before I hit 72.27 years old.

This way I save myself the hassle & anguish of barely having enough to live on whilst worrying constantly about whether Ive saved enough for a retirement I may never see.

Hmmmmmm

Thanks Government but no thanks. Ive sorted it myself. Go nanny someone who respects you.

-Anyway, looks like I’ll be ok:

*”A special Providence protects fools, drunkards, small children and the United States of America.”

Otto Von Bismark - German Prussian politician 1815-1898

I Know. Rubbish, all of it. Don’t read it then. I haven’t

NEXT WEEK:

WINE & ITS MAGICAL PROPERTIES

Actually I don’t know anything about wine. However, my wife……..

Thee Ende

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